he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I need water and some morals
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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