lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
