Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
