Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
