she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
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