So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
17 year olds will be the death of me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
