I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize
