Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
