bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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