how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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