well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just gargled with NyQuil
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
