We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
