I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I wish I could teleport
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
