Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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