you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize