What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize