Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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