I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
