its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
