The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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