she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
