Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
