Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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