so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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