I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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