Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
