in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
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Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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