We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
