just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
