legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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