i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
