I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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