We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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