I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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