There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
