Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
