I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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