I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
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Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
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I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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