hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
