Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
