Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
