Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
