were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
