So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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