so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
