two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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