it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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