Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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