I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
