She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
