I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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