Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
