okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
