I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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