great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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