fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
