Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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