the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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