My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
