Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
