The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
